Herein I allow my pen to do as it pleases, without judgement, I allow my subconscious to purely express itself in the form of words, to produce an art that makes me shiver. A true reflection of my most inner being.

Imprefect. Abnormal. Unhinged.

Dimashq, a toxic love
My unwavering destiny
My tormentor, my saviour, my lover, my enemy.

Dimashq calls from the top of the mountains in Slovenia
To the bottom of the seas in Indonesia
She calls to me in my darkest hour
In my euphoria, in my inspiration, in my boredom
Dimashq calls from the depths of my being
Its Jasmine scented streets, scorching sun and miserable destruction
Its dust fills me with joy
Its air plays with my heart like a toy.

Dimashq, your name runs through my veins
My longing to you grows like a cancer in my brain
How can burned garbage and diesel smell so sweet
Sweeter than safety. Sweeter than freedom. Sweeter than a wild flower.
How can I soar high when my ambilocal chord is still attached to your red soil?

Dimashq calls me to my destiny
She strips me of my freedom, she shuts my mouth and closes my eyes.
She leaves me naked in the dark.
She calls me to my undoing, and yet I follow.

Stolen dreams, tinted memories, extinguished futures
She calls me to walk in her streets at night and cry
To grieve every moment I spent separated from her embrace
To grieve the millions whose blood watered her soil
To grieve her children who’ve lost their identities
Scattered across this earth
She calls me to write, to love, to die
And yet I follow

Dare I dream of a day when your children can return
To kiss your fertile soil and swim in your turquoise waters
To embrace their grandparents amongst olive fields older than time
A time when we can think freely, speak fearlessly and love unconditionally.
Dimashq, if it would make a difference, my life would be yours.

I will stay on the periphery
I will watch as your children migrate, escaping your misery
And if by a all-godly miracle your water stops poisoning me
I shall return and raise my children on your land and continue my ancestry.