I’m so completely and utterly alone.
Sandy mountains cover the land behind me, littered with tents and camels.
The promise land lies straight ahead, a blurry dream becoming clearer on a sunny horizon.
My heartbeat quickens. My blood thickens.
Less than a hundred meters now. The closest I’ve ever been.
I chose to walk the narrow end of the sea to be as close as I can be.
To almost touch the soil, to almost smell the olive trees.
I breathe deep and feel the coarse salt under my feet.
Mountains upon mountains of salt.
As far as the eye can see.
It crystalises on the shore, inexplicably beautiful shapes of pink and white.
Near the water it dissolves, sparkling ecstasy.
I can totally just swim across right now. No one will see me. I’m a good diver. And if I get caught I’ll just say I got lost or went too far.
It’s deathly quite. Why is it so damn quite?
Where are the children of the desert and their pet goats?
Where are the farmers, the fishermen, mothers and daughters kneading the dough and collecting firewood for baking that holy bread?
Where are the war planes and tanks?
Where are the militaries of the great Arab Nations that have filled our brains with empty words and broken promises?
Nothing to see here but a dark cloud over the horizon to the west. Nothing to hear but the echoes of children screaming for help from under the rubble.
It smells like a big bag of wet salt.
The closer I got to the water the stickier the air feels, the harder it becomes to breathe.
I allow my body to near the edge of the still waters.
The salt grains get finer.
Not a ripple to be felt. The silence is deafening.
Salt enters my eyes. The sun peaks its nose from behind the clouds and reflects off the turquoise water
But I can’t see it, all I see is red.
I weep. I weep and my grief shatters the silence and spreads like wildfire, bringing life to that hazy, dead sea.
With every tear an unbearable pain travels through my spine as little grains of salt enter my mouth and nostrils.
I try to rub it off but it penetrates deeper into my being.
The only water to wash it off is from an endless stream of tears
I laugh. I frantically laugh
There is no way out! The water’s so salty I can’t drown even if I wanted to.
A dead sea forces me afloat. A breathing corpse.
The weight of the mountains around me rests on my shoulders.
I imagine what lies beyond those dusty mountains.
Olive trees and pomegranates. Lemon fields and healing oils.
Dreams of stolen lands, stolen memories, stolen futures.
My kin, ancestry and destiny are right within reach, but they’re on the opposite side of the sea.
The only thing standing in between are two measly soldiers that are a little too interested in me.
The blood runs cold in their veins. Upstanding in attention, ready to fire, ready for murder.
Alone in a salt sinkhole that swallows me whole
Deeper, deeper, until I cannot feel anymore.